If at first you don’t succeed… build your resilience.

sports-running-vector-races-x-80214Success and doing well are obviously key goals, but oh the platitudes people come out with..

  • Hard work always pays off  (but it doesn’t always, does it?)
  • It’s not about win or lose it’s about how you play the game (if it wasn’t about winning why are there prizes for winning)
  • Difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations (yes and so do easy ones, so why go the hard way?)

The sad fact is everyone can’t come top or win all the time, so it’s likely at some point you will experience not getting what you want no matter how hard you try.  What you do at this point will determine your future.

Let’s imagine… Your favourite sports team (insert name here), it’s the first game of the season they have been training for months and feel at the top of their game.  The match starts, they play well, but try as they might they still lose the match.  They are upset and angry, they walk off and decide never to play again, end of story!  But that’s not what happens is it?

People talk about resilience and bouncing back but what does that really mean?

It’s not about carrying on regardless, you need to pause and consider your next approach.

So to take some examples, you don’t win the SU election, you don’t get selected for the team you don’t get the job you applied for… what do you do?

  1. It’s normal to be upset or even angry. Talk to friends to get some comfort, vent a little about the unfairness of the world then… take a breath and just stop for a moment.
  2. Take some time to think about what happened. Can you be objective, can you identify any particular issues? You may find this article helpful
  3. You need to think about what you could do differently next time.  Is it time to talk to experts who can support you and help you evaluate your next move?
  4. Take action, implement changes in approach and try again.

The time it takes to go through stages 1-3 and the action you decide to take will define your resilience. You may find your first experience of failure or rejection tough to process but you can learn from it and that’s important to help you cope better in future.

In the world of job applications and interviews there will be no one approach that will guarantee winning. Your strategy has to be adapted for the employer and industry, it takes research, preparation and yes sometimes repeated attempts, each time getting closer. Honestly, there are barriers to overcome and it’s not always easy or straight forward. On occasion you may need to be prepared to change your strategy entirely, talk to us about this.

My advice… Don’t take it personally, do take advice, please keep trying.




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